My 14 Favorite Things of 2014: #7-1

With about a day-and-a-half left of 2014, I'm back with the second half of my Favorite Things list! Before we get to the final 7, let me start with a few Honorable Mentions. One thing about this list is that there are obviously more than 14 things that I loved this year, but they can't all fit. Here are a few that were very close to making the final countdown, but are too good to not at least mention:

How To Get Away With Murder: This show is deliciously over-the-top and knows it, but that's why I love it so. Add in main attraction Viola Davis (love her!) and standout supporting player Jack Falahee, and you've got what was definitely my favorite new show of the year.

Every Day: I already posted my love for this book, but it bears repeating: Go read this inventive and heartbreaking novel as soon as you can!

American Horror Story: We all know my love for this show knows no bounds, and since about 98% of this blog is dedicated to that love, I thought I'd give it the backseat treatment in order for some of my other Favorite Things to shine.

Into the Woods: I just saw this last night, but I can't get this delightful (and at times, dark) mish-mash of fairy tales out of my head. I needed another movie musical in my life, and this one hit all the right notes for me.

Now, into the actual list...

7. The Pinkprint, Nicki Minaj

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I've been a die-hard Nicki fan since she first arrived on the scene way back in 2010, so you can imagine the near-three year wait for her third album felt like 10 for me. Luckily (and expectedly), the wait was well worth it: Nicki has created a record that is parts brazen rap freestyles, confessional ballads that show she can sing just as well as she can rap, with a dash of pop that most in the mainstream associate her with. By now we've all heard "Anaconda"--admit it, you've probably seen the video, too--so I recommend exploring more of Ms. Minaj's artistry with standouts such as "Feeling Myself" (featuring Beyonce) and "The Night is Still Young."

6. Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira

(via Goodreads)

This was one of those books that took me by surprise: I hadn't heard of it until the week it'd been released, and once I heard the premise--a young girl writes letters to dead celebrities/important cultural figures to help cope with her own sister's death--I went straight to the bookstore and grabbed it. Any self-respecting fan of The Perks of Being a Wallflower will love this epistolary novel that tackles death, friendship, and love in such a uniquely beautiful way.

5. Gone Girl

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There's so much to love about this film that I'm unsure of where to begin. I could go on and on about the pitch-perfect performances, from the bone-chilling Rosamund Pike to the wickedly dry humor of Carrie Coon as Nick's (Ben Affleck) sister Go. I could talk about the outstanding direction by David Fincher, the impressive and faithful script by author Gillian Flynn, and the brilliant music (the music during the buildup to the shed scene!) for even longer. In a year of pretty-damn good book-to-film adaptations, Gone Girl was the best. Definitely my favorite movie of the year.

4. All Things Ariana Grande

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No matter what you think of her--"She sounds just like Mariah Carey!"; "I can't understand what she's saying!"; "Why does she always wear that damn ponytail?"--that didn't stop you from having one of her FOUR Top 10 hits on Repeat. With a bevy of live performances (at least she's singing live), a chart-topping second album (recommended tracks: all of them), and a close encounter with a Victoria's Secret model's angel wings, Ms. Grande ruled the year. I couldn't be happier she's getting the recognition she deserves, and can't wait to see her live (again!) come February. For more on her spectacular year, click here.

3. "BALENCIAGA!!

Okay, so I had to break my "no AHS rule" for this, because this scene happened way back in January and I'm still laughing/obsessing over it. Regardless of your overall feelings of Coven, you can't deny the laugh-out-loud absurd, #iconic, last words of Myrtle Snow.

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2. Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

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Guys. GUYS. Never did I think a book about a college-age girl who writes fan-fiction could touch my heart so. But like I said when I first reviewed it, Fangirl became an instant new favorite of mine by time I reached page 20. Cath and her dilemma of leaving the past behind to embrace the scary future that includes college and growing up was fantastically explored, and her notions on school (she'd rather write than be in class) totally won me over. In fact, I'm pretty sure I said "this is so me" multiple times while reading it. I related to this story on such a personal level, and it is connections like the ones felt here that I love books so much in the first place: Something about opening up the pages and finding yourself within the words is a magic that's indescribable, and one that doesn't happen as often as I'd like. There is no doubt I'll be reading this book many times over, and I absolutely can't wait for Carry On in October. Seriously, do yourself a favor and start your year of reading on an excellent note (like I did) with this book.

1. My Trip to Florida

My adventure to the Sunshine State this past summer had a post of its own, though that mostly connected with my trip to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and re-reading Prisoner of Azkaban. That life highlight aside, my trip to Florida was one to remember for many reasons. I got to see and spend quality time with family I hadn't seen in years. I was reunited with one of my best friends from high school, whom I hadn't seen for just as long. I swam in the ocean for the first time. But perhaps the biggest thing: I did it on my own. This was my first-ever trip I planned and embarked on without my immediate family. And yes, I did get help finding a decently-priced plane ticket and was fortunate enough to have an inexpensive place to stay (thanks a million, Uncle Brian and and Aunt Melissa!), I felt a sense of independence that was at times scary but mostly exhilirating. As someone who wants more than anything to leave Kansas behind post-graduation and move onto to bigger things, this trip was an important first step in asserting that functioning on my own is something I'm capable of. The fact that this trip was able to happen, and that I had such an amazing time while I was on it, was the highlight of my year and the first of many cross-country adventures I hope to have in the future.

There you have it: My Favorite Things! Feel free to share yours with me. Happy New Year, everyone!!

--Dustin
@DustinVann

My 14 Favorite Things of 2014: #14-8

It's that time of year again: My 2nd annual Favorite Things list, where I count my favorite moments in pop culture, social media, or interesting events in my own life that made this a year to remember. Let's get right into the first half of my list, starting with...

14. This Vine

http://vinesnow.com/post/64797497505/lmao-holy-sht-best-vines-on-tumblr-vinesnow-com

I can't for the life of me figure out how to embed the Vine into this post, but trust me, it's totally worth it to follow the above link!

13. Finally watching True Blood

Now I know this show has seriously gone off the rails in its last two or three seasons, but my binge-watch of Seasons 1-4 this past summer was the slick thrill ride I needed to get me through the Kansas heat. I'd read most of the book series which the show is based on before watching the series, though that series, much like the show, suffered a similar fate of over-staying its welcome. Despite the absurd twists and turns I know the show takes (I also spoiled the ending for myself, but can you blame me?), I do plan on finishing the series. Eventually. For now, though, I remain an avid fan of the show and its wild cast of characters. I don't think I've ever watched a show with two characters as fabulous as Lafayette:

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Or as deliciously blunt as Pam:

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12. Taylor Swift, 1989

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Say what you want about Taylor Swift, but there's no denying that homegirl puts out damn good albums. Her fourth release was and wasn't an exception; while it wasn't my favorite album of hers (that would go to Speak Now), T. Swifty took bold, creative risks with her first official pop album that proved to be a success. I'd suggest shaking off "Shake It Off" and cranking up the volume on current hit single "Blank Space," "Bad Blood" (which better be a single), and "How You Get the Girl."

11. The Fault in Our Stars

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It's a beautiful thing, when an amazing book is made into an equally amazing film. It's also a shame that this book-to-movie magic doesn't happen as often as it should. But this adaptation follows John Green's heartbreaking and beautiful novel to a T, with (mostly) grounded performances by Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort. They illuminate the screen when they're on it together, even in the film's most heart-wrenching sequences. I went in with lukewarm expectations and emerged from the theater not misty-eyed, but with a heavy heart that nearly tugged me back into my seat for a second viewing.

10. Panic by Lauren Oliver

As I do with all the books I read, I posted a review on this one when I first read it over the summer. But like all good books, Oliver's intense Hunger Games-esque standalone hooked me as a reader of her future work. The realistic, inventive "tasks" our protagonists Heather and Dodge have to endure in order to get the $50,000 prize brought me into the story and made me feel the metaphorical stakes they faced. This is a nice and quick read I'd reserve for the summer (the novel takes place over the summer, so it's the perfect season to dive in), and make sure it's one of the first on your list. You won't regret it.

9. Alfred Hitchcock Binge

Okay, so Hitchcock isn't exactly "2014". But as we saw from last year's list, my "Favorite Things" don't exactly have to be produced within the calendar year. But technically, my newfound obsession with the Master of Suspense did come to light this year. It started with me and my sister finally sitting down to watch Psycho the last day of spring semester finals, continued into the summer with a rainy-night viewing of Rear Window and Dial M for Murder (which I watched twice in two days), culminating in Halloween showing of The Birds. I think the fact that I remember such small details surrounding the viewing of these films speaks volumes to the genius that is the Hitchcock film. His films truly are a master class in suspense, his collection the epitome of a "slow-burn", and the attention to detail in the stories left me breathless each time. I still have many more of his films to view--Vertigo and North by Northwest are next on my list--but I have a feeling I'll be viewing all of them more than once.

Hitchcock's films also feature a catalog of actors from Hollywood's revered Golden Age, and I have him to thank for introducing me to the elegant and sassy Grace Kelly, whose feet I would bow to even if she weren't technically a princess.

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Such sass. Such...grace.

8. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1

Unnecessarily long-winded title aside, The Hunger Games has always proven to be one of the more faithful book-to-movie adaptations, and despite the fact that there was NO NEED to split the final book into two films, I found that the filmmakers made the extra time they had with Mockingjay work. As always, J.Law gave a hauntingly good performance, perfectly balancing Katniss's resistance to being a symbol of rebellion with her worsening PTSD. Other highlights of the film included Josh Hutcherson's terrifying descent into madness as a hijacked Peeta; Julianne Moore's pitch-perfect coldness as President Coin melded well with the late Philip Seymour Hoffman's stoic portrayal of Plutarch Heavensbee. I also loved that Effie Trinket was utilized more in the movie than she was in the book, and the scene in which we saw Boggs and the other soldiers rescue Peeta was tense in a Zero Dark Thirty type of way. The film predictably ended on a cliffhanger (again, did we need two films?), and yet I'm eagerly anticipating next November's Part 2.

And speaking of unnecessary...did we really need a dance-club remix of "The Hanging Tree?" Seriously, I hear it all the time at work, and it's weird.

And speaking of unnecessary cliffhangers...here concludes Part 1 of my list! Part 2 should be up this time next week or sooner, so come back for more 2014 good stuff and find out what made my Number 1 spot this year. Until then, happy holidays!

--Dustin
@DustinVann

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: FREAK SHOW Review -- "Orphans" (SPOILERS)

WARNING: This post contains spoilers of this week's FREAK SHOW AND AHS: ASYLUM!!

If there's anything AHS has excelled at this year, it's crafting absolutely devastating back-stories for its characters.

First we got Ethel and her road-side show birth of Jimmy. Then there was Twisty's futile quest for love and acceptance in society. Then we got the chain-sawing of Elsa's legs by snuff filmmakers. And this week, we got to Pepper.

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Oh, Pepper. The beloved pinhead who made AHS history by being the first character featured in more than one season of the show had an hour (mostly) devoted to her introduction into the freak show and her inevitable, wrongful placement at Briarcliff (the asylum in AHS: Asylum).

The hour began with the unexpected death of Salty, another pinhead in the freak show that we later learned was also Pepper's soulmate. As Pepper grieved, Elsa revealed (and we saw via flashbacks) how she first came across Pepper in an orphanage. This was around the same time Elsa was gathering recruits for her own freak show, and she proudly claimed Pepper as her first "monster."

The sequence of Elsa "adopting" Pepper and fulfilling her favorite monster's wishes--when she wanted a baby, she found Ma Petite; when she wanted a husband, she found her Salty--was incredibly touching, and really redeemed Elsa as a character for me. Despite all the horrible things she's done this season, I truly felt the love she had for Pepper. And Jessica Lange and Naomi Grossman (the marvelous actress who plays Pepper) have a great mother-daughter chemistry that radiates off the screen.

And then, just as I'd felt Elsa had redeemed herself, she goes off and does another horrible thing.

With her supposed departure to Hollywood on the horizon, Elsa needs to put her affairs in Jupiter in order. And by affairs, I mean dumping Pepper--her favorite monster, a woman who is GRIEVING the loss of her "baby" and "husband" and lives in a world where she's always abandoned--off into the care of her sister. Her sister, who also happens to be the same woman who abandoned her in the orphanage all those years ago.

...What?!?!

Seriously, what was Elsa thinking? Knowing Pepper's issues with abandonment, why wouldn't she just allow Pepper to stay with the other freaks, who are more her family than the sister who cast her aside because she was different? Elsa's idea of what family means is truly warped, but then again, she's warped when it comes to a lot of things. Right, Edward?

So Elsa leaves Pepper in the care of her sister, a heartbreaking scene that capitalizes on the excellence that is Queen Jessica Lange and shows the depth of emotion Naomi Grossman can tap into as an actress.

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"Here, my darling, is a kiss from me to you. And if you get lonely, you hold onto your cheek, and I'll be there."

So. Many. Feels.

Then, those of us who have watched Asylum know what happens to Pepper from there. Her sister, played with delusional malice by Mare Winningham, finally has the child she always wanted--but never wanted to take care of. Pepper cares for the baby, lovingly so, but even this isn't enough for her small-minded sister and her even smaller-minded husband: Both sick of Pepper and their baby, they hatch a plan to "kill two birds with one stone," a plan that involves murdering their own child and framing poor Pepper for the crime. Pepper once again loses someone she loves, and is thrown into Briarcliff, where she meets...Sister Mary Eunice!

Sister Mary Eunice is by far one of my most favorite characters in the AHS universe, so I've been waiting for her return ever since it was announced. And as brief as her reappearance was, she (and the amazingly awesome actress who plays her, Lily Rabe) did not disappoint. I loved that we got to see the sweet, kind Sister Mary Eunice.

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You know, before she was possessed by the devil and all that.

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Okay, then, whatever you say...

Seeing pre-possession Sister Mary Eunice was a great treat for all us die-hard AHS fans, and having Pepper's story come full circle was heartbreakingly satisfying. I was a bit wary of the idea of every season having some sort of connection with the others, but if the writers can pull it off as beautifully as they did here, then I'm up for more connections to be made in subsequent seasons.

We also got this surprising tidbit in the last image of the episode:

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So Elsa did make it to Hollywood? But how, if Stanley is the fake he says he is? I'm intrigued, and it's the perfect tease to keep us wondering until the show returns for its last three episodes starting January 7.

Other thoughts on this week's episode:

*Desiree Dupree continues to be the goddess of fierce. Her face-off with Esmerelda at the carousal was fantastic.

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Angela Bassett plays Desiree with such flair. I love it, and am so glad we've gotten to see more of her as FREAK SHOW has progressed.

*Jimmy apparently sold his lobster hand to Stanley in order to pay for "a good lawyer." Do we think he actually went through with it? I mean, we see the hands on display at the creepy freak museum, but could there be a chance that there's another Lobster Boy out there that we don't know about?

*Anyone else think it was funny/messed up that Elsa was able to buy off Ma Petite from that prince by giving him cases of Dr. Pepper? It made me think of the whole Benadryl gag from Coven last year. You know the one.

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*No Dandy this week, which oddly, I was fine with. I'm still impatiently waiting for him to do something other than shouting "I am the law!" over and over again.

*Can we bask in the beauty that is Elsa Mars circa 1930s-1940s?

Love her hair. Hate her.

*Was anyone else just waiting for Sister Jude to pop up during the Briarcliff sequence? I probably would've cried tears of joy if I'd seen Jessica Lange back in that habit.

*I'm obviously a bit obsessed with Asylum, if you couldn't tell.

That about sums it up for this week. We're nearing the end of the FREAK SHOW, everyone. Any theories on how it'll end? We got a little taste of what to expect in the new year, most notably Neil Patrick Harris' introduction as the new owner of the freak show. The preview made his character seem pretty dark and disturbing, so I hope he lives up to the hype! Any thoughts on what NPH will bring to Elsa's Cabinet of Curiosities?

Thanks for reading, and come back in 2015 for new AHS-related posts!

--Dustin
@DustinVann

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: FREAK SHOW Review -- "Blood Bath" (SPOILERS)

Ryan Murphy and Co. weren't playing--this episode of AHS was a "blood bath" in every sense of the phrase.

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AHS, why you so literal?!?

Let's get right to the eye-popping moment that started it all:

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Too soon?

Ethel Darling. Ethel Freakin' Darling met her end, and at the hands of BFF Elsa, no less! In a clash of acting titans that involved heavily accented monologues, a gunshot to the prosthetic leg, and, as seen above, a well-aimed knife to the eyeball, both Jessica Lange and Kathy Bates gave it their Oscar-winners all before the first commercial break. Their confrontation was epic, badass, and heartbreaking to watch; knife-throwing and gun-slinging aside, we were witnessing the end of a friendship that seemed ultimately one-sided. All her life Elsa has starved for the spotlight, and her methodical, careless dispatching of Ethel (which continues in a bizarre yet slightly humorous sequence where Elsa and Stanley stage Ethel's death as a suicide) in order to keep her dark secrets quiet and pursue her dreams of stardom shows that she is the biggest freak living under the candy-striped tent.

And poor Kathy Bates. Can't a girl keep her head?

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Like most other fans watching, I was not expecting Ethel's demise to come so soon, and especially not by murder. We learned in "Edward Mordrake Part 1" that Ethel was terminally ill, which lead me to believe she'd get a weep-fest sendoff near the end of the season. But her earlier-than-expected death really ups the ante, brings the conflict of Elsa's "fight" against the freaks to a higher simmer that's bound to boil over once the truth comes out. Because the truth has to come out, right? How long are Jimmy and the other freaks going to believe that Ethel tied a chain bound to a tree around her neck, went down on the gas, and drove until she decapitated herself?

As for my feelings toward Elsa...well, all I've got to say is:

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And now, turning the corner to the other big, unexpected death of the night...

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This one really made my jaw drop. How could Ryan Murphy kill off two acting queens in one night?!? But alas, he did the unthinkable, killing off wannabe-dame Gloria Mott, played to the dismal end with fabulous quirk by Dame Frances Conroy. Her killer? None other than the "love of her life," her son Dandy.

I've mentioned before how I find the relationship between Gloria and Dandy to be so disturbingly fascinating. The woman clearly knows her son is a psychopath, has witnessed him kill and helped him bury a body or two, and yet continues to live on as if nothing is wrong. Spoiled in the very worst sense of the word. This week, we learned what may be the cause of Dandy's homicidal tendencies and Gloria's blind eye when it comes to the subject--that is, if you believe Dandy's version of the truth. Turns out, Gloria was so desperate to maintain her lavish lifestyle that she married a wealthy second cousin, a case of inbreeding that Dandy is certain has made him the way he is. Gloria insists that she loves Dandy, "even the madness," and she would die if anything happened to him, to which Dandy replied with a simple "OK" before ending her life. Which brings us again to the lovely image at the start of this post.

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So. Literal.

I'm sad to see Gloria (and Frances) go so soon, but much like Ethel, her death serves as not only a shocking blow but to up the stakes even more for the show. Dandy is officially untethered, free to engage in murderous mayhem without worrying about his over-bearing mother (not that her idea of "over-bearing" helped much). With Regina (Gabourey Sidibe) in town determined to find her missing mother and his supposed love for Dot, Dandy has a few loose ends he needs to tie up. I'll miss the Gloria-Dandy dynamic, but I'm looking forward to seeing what Dandy does once he emerges from that bathtub.

Elsewhere at the freak show, my dreams of more Desiree Dupree fully blossomed when Angela Bassett was finally give the tools--namely some tar and feathers--to become the full-fledged power diva she was meant to become this season. The death of her friend Ethel enraged Desiree, ignited some serious girl-power in her as she banded together with Amazon Eve, Legless Suzy, and Penny, candy-striper turned Lizard Girl, to take down Penny's cruel father for horribly disfiguring her in the previous episode. The ladies broke into his house, snatched him up, and subjected him to a new kind of torture, freak-style. Penny nearly got the justice she deserved but had a change of heart about killing Dear Old Dad (way to go, Emma Roberts). Nevertheless, I loved that Desiree and the girls took a stand against their oppressors, and more Desiree/Angela is a prayer answered by the AHS gods.

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WORK.

Other quick quips...

* Evan Peters' acting during Ethel's funeral was raw and incredible. I was seriously getting Tate-like feels during that scene. Jimmy Darling is definitely Peters' best AHS character since Murder House.

* Where were Bette and Dot? Ethel mentioned she had hidden them away from Elsa, but they kind of fell off the tent after that. Will anyone find them? Well, someone must, given they were in the preview for next week. Right?

* The Roosevelt exchange between Gloria and Dandy was perfect. "How dare you mention that name in this house." LOL.

* Was the brief scene about how Elsa got her legs necessary? Maybe the fact that it featured a cameo by The Axeman, a.k.a Worst Subplot of Coven contributed to some of my distaste for this scene, but I felt it unnecessarily interrupted the momentum of Elsa and Ethel's showdown. But hey, at least it was brief, and here's hoping we don't see anymore of Axeman this season. (Literally knocks on wood).

But really, this episode was probably my favorite of FREAK SHOW so far. Ryan Murphy took some bold, creative risks with "Blood Bath", especially being so literal with that title. And also, the writer in me kind of geeks out when a show's creator writes an episode, so I was bound to gush over this installment even if it was bad.

What about you? How long do you think it'll take before the freaks figure out what really happened to Ethel? How much further can Dandy's freak flag fly? Will Bette and Dot ever be found? Feel free to let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!

--Dustin
@DustinVann

Where It Took Me: My First Reading of Joyce Carol Oates' "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"

A few weeks ago I stole time away from the flurry of essays, readings, and other out-of-nowhere assignments that tend to pile up during this time of the semester for college students to do something I'd been meaning to do for some time: Just read. As many others can relate, I tend to get so lost in the current happenings of my life, whether it be schoolwork, work-work, or crazy/beautiful life in general that activities I treasure (i.e. leisurely reading) are pushed to the outer perimeter. Being an English major I read a lot, of course, but a few weeks ago I was at a point where I wanted to "get away": From being an English major, a pizza-maker, a twenty-something college student who wants to go everywhere but at times feels he will go nowhere. Reading has always been one of the first activities I turn to when time and money constrain me from physically getting away, and I knew I needed to do some reading outside what was required for my studies. Because getting back into old habits sometimes requires baby-steps, I thought a short story would do, and Joyce Carol Oates' haunting classic "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" was my immediate first choice.

I'd heard of this anthology favorite many times before, but didn't think to read it until picking my own anthology of short stories for my Introduction to Fiction Writing class this semester. It was one we weren't required to read, yet I found myself flipping past it countless times in my pursuit for other stories, stopping for a brief moment to consider its unique title and dedication ("For Bob Dylan") before moving on. And while I eventually took the time to read it at my leisure, the literary analyst in me couldn't simply read it; I found so many elements to discuss and, surprisingly, found bits of myself whilst on my literary treasure hunt.

I won't dwell too much on plot (the story's been out nearly 50 years, just go read it!), but "Going, Been" focuses on a young girl named Connie who is an average girl living in 20th century America. Well, Connie's not exactly "average": She's an all-American girl, a jewel wedged in wooden Middle America. She loves music, going to the shopping plaza with her girlfriends, and seems to resent the plain life and appearance of her family, particularly that of her mother and older sister, June. One hot day, Connie is home alone when the familiar stranger Arnold Friend appears outside her screen door, and so begins what I believe to be one of the most chilling sequences in literary history*. Most of you reading this know what goes down at this point of the story, so let me instead focus on one of my favorite elements of "Going, Been": the character of Connie, and how I found myself connecting with her by the final page.

First of all, I get that some people may not like Connie. I get how she can be read as superficial; she thinks of her family as grossly plain compared to her beauty, and one of the first things she observes about Arnold Friend when he comes uninvited to her house is how he wouldn't be much taller than her were they at eye level. But it's this superficiality and at times frustrating naivety that makes her such an interesting, relatable character. Let's face it: every teenager, whether they're an American beauty like Connie or an average Joe on the debate team, is a bit superficial or ego-centric. If Connie had everything figured out, her story wouldn't be interesting, so it is these moments of shallowness and gullibility that make her a real teenager that readers of any generation can look at and think, "I know someone like her," or "I've been her." From this perspective, Connie is the one thing she resents at the beginning of the story, the one thing she desperately wants to reclaim by its end: Normal.

It is these normal shortcomings that Arnold Friend uses to his advantage when trying to lure Connie out of her house. We get the gist that Friend has targeted young girls like Connie before, and he knows exactly where to play his cards: He sweet-talks her while claiming her as his own, touches on her love of music so as to mask his sinister intentions. Finally, in perhaps the most haunting uses of reverse psychology I've read, Friend taps into Connie's (and really, any typical teenager's) desire, however fleeting, to distance herself from her family and the achingly "normal" life she's been forced to live. He's the brooding stranger offering the girl a chance at a new life, only the brooding barely hides his unhinged personality, and the so-called "new life" promised will be brief if he has his way.

But then, something extraordinary happens: Connie rejects what she once believed she wanted and tries to retreat into the normal, wanting nothing more than her mother. She wants the spotlight off her in a moment of terror she can't possibly shake, just as she begins to accept that this moment of extraordinary terror is now her life, and she won't be able to return to what's normal.

This is where I find myself within this story. No, I've never been cornered in my own home by a possible serial killer, but like Connie--like all of us, I'm sure--I've seen the unknown. Stared at it and contemplated it and ran from it. It's a scary thing, an imaginary Arnold Friend that is intriguing and overwhelming all at once. I think of how Connie reacts to Friend--the unknown--, how she tries to hide from it before numbly accepting it, going off with Friend because she knows there is no other choice. But isn't there? Can she risk calling the cops, putting her family in harm's way if it means that she gets to live on as she is? When the heat has cooled and Friend is long gone, would she regret her decision to retreat into the wings of the familiar and spend the rest of her life thinking, What if? I've thought a lot about how Connie could've acted differently and how she could've saved herself in the end, bringing it back to my own reactions in an unfamiliar situation. If faced with a surprising, unexpected path down the road, would I be willing to take it? Even if I had no idea where I'd end up, would I take the risk anyway? Or would I go down the safer path, the one in which I know where it ends? I've never been great with directions (I know places by landmarks, not street names, and directions on MapQuest might as well be Japanese), but I'd like to think I'd go with the former.

And yet: Would I? I think it's one of those questions that can be answered only when, like Connie, you're in the pulsing heat of the moment, staring at fate head-on and wondering if there's any way around it, or if it's easier to go straight into all the uncertainty.

That's why I connect with Connie so much: She chose a path that, while she isn't completely sure of its destination, she has some idea that it'll end with her death, but she takes it anyway. Of course there is that instinct to protect her family and that is likely the reason she goes with Friend in the end, but that sacrifice is the very thing that makes her extraordinary, not the beauty or hair or all-American smile.

There are so many other elements of this story that I love. There's the tension of the screen door, a fragile piece of wood and wire being the only thing that separates Connie and Friend during their chilling encounter. It's touched and pushed upon so much that I was waiting for it to fly off its hinges in Friend's pursuit of Connie, but loved that such an easy access stayed firmly intact. Then there's the idea of the title itself and how it ties into the feelings of misdirection in the story, first with Connie (as explained above), and that of Arnold Friend. He sways Connie with his words, cloaking him in uncertainty. We may not know exactly where Arnold Friend came from, but we know he's been to places where he's preyed on young women like Connie before. So many things I could discuss and dissect and likely connect back to myself, all of which I'll do when I come back to this story. Because "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" isn't a story you read once. It demands many revisits, if not to uncover more about Connie and Arnold, where they've been and where they're going, but maybe to find out more about yourself.

I may not always know where I'm going, and that's honestly more terrifying than Arnold Friend himself. But having finally read this story, knowing that I can return to it whenever I need a break from all the dead ends and forks in the road, is enough to keep me moving forward.

--Dustin
@DustinVann

*I'm not as well-read as some of you are, so feel free to disagree with me on that one. :)

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: FREAK SHOW Review -- "Pink Cupcakes" (SPOILERS!)

Matt Bomer, we hardly knew ya.

That's the first of many things that comes to mind when looking back on this week's episode of FREAK SHOW. "Pink Cupcakes" was the first episode of the show's post-Twisty era, and with so many new developments, it was hard to remember the departed clown in the wake of everything else. Let's get into it, starting first with the aforementioned Mr. Bomer:

Prior to his AHS debut, I hadn't seen much of Matt Bomer's work; besides the occasional few minutes of WHITE COLLAR I'd catch or his cover of "Somebody I Used To Know" on GLEE a few years back, I hadn't had much exposure to his work at all (dreamy magazine covers don't count). So I was definitely impressed with his short-lived role as Andy, a gay hustler who turned out to be--surprise!--Del's secret lover!

Say what...

This revelation about Del shouldn't come as much of a surprise. After all, he was once with a bearded lady, and his current wife, Desiree, is a hermaphrodite (or is she?); I think we all knew something was up there. But to see it all play out--Del's turmoil over wanting to be with Andy but not wanting to leave his wife--was great to see. Before this, Del had been a bit of a one-note character, a strongman with some serious anger issues. To get some context on where those issues might be coming from was enlightening, and I think Michael Chiklis balanced the conflict very well.

But back to Matt Bomer.

Oh haaai.

So after Del left Andy in the bar, he is approached by serial-killer-on-the-rise Dandy Mott, who pays the chap $100 to journey with him to his "love-shack", which is really just Twisty's creepy old crib. Then Dandy kills Andy. Gruesomely.

Here Miss J perfectly captures the horror felt by all of America at the dispatching of Mr. Matt Bomer.

But seriously, this scene was brutal. Not only that, but just how meticulously Dandy planned everything about it out, from sawing the body parts and dissolving them in acid...gross. Dandy has officially gone over the deep end, and the only person who hasn't realized that is his mother, Gloria. She even lets her son bury his victims in the backyard. Apparently decomposing flesh helps some plant of hers grow faster--

Okay, okay! Sorry...

As I've mentioned before, I think the Gloria-Dandy relationship is a favorite of mine, and Gloria's continued brushing-under-the-rug of her son's homicidal tendencies is both horrifying and fascinating to watch unfold. It also helps that Frances Conroy pulls off Gloria's crazed antics so deliciously; on the one hand, we want to see her as a mother doing what it takes to please and protect her child, while on the other, we question if she's just as insane as her son. Each week Gloria becomes more undone, and I'm excited to see where her character goes.

So, remember my hashtag last week, #WeNeedDesiree? Well, it seems like the AHS gods were listening, because "Pink Cupcakes" gave us more Desiree than we've ever seen before. Since the character's introduction, we've been led to believe that Desiree is a hermaphrodite, a three-breasted woman with what she calls a "ding-a-ling" down South. We learned Desiree was born Derek, until he/she began growing breasts at age 12. A hermaphrodite, right? Not necessarily: After an emergency trip to the doctor, Desiree learned that she's a woman, has always been since birth. The extra breast is from the large amounts of estrogen she produced when she was 12, and her "ding-a-ling" is simply an enlarged clitoris. What's more, the emergency that prompted the doctor's visit turned out to be a miscarriage. Desiree can have kids, and she wants one. Just not with Dell, it seems.

Obviously, I loved that we got more Desiree this week. More Angela Bassett is always a good thing, and I love how she plays Desiree honestly and without restraint. I also love that she doesn't let Del push her around, and that she finally wants to become her own woman. You go, Desiree!

Elsewhere at the freak show...

Stanley and Esmerelda continued their recon of the freak show, attempting to add some of the freaks to their collection in their own special way. For Esmerelda, this means rejecting a kiss from Lobster-Boy Jimmy Darling.

Let's just say Stanley's more of the expert between the two. He has everyone thinking he's a Hollywood agent scouting for new leads on a television show.

"TELEVISION?!?"

Needless to say, Elsa is not amused.

The scene where Elsa and Stanley argue the pros and cons of the newly-rising television was probably my favorite this week. First of all, it was super-meta; two characters, in a TV show, arguing that television is a) "The future" and b) "The fall of civilization." Elsa's idea about television trying to stuff the magic of the silver screen into a "tiny box" was deliciously ironic, given that we live in an age where many would argue that the quality of television has surpassed the quality of many films released today. I live for great social commentary, and this entire exchange hit that sweet-spot head-on.

Stanley is more successful in persuading Bette and Dot to be his "television stars," even taking them on a quaint picnic to pitch his idea and present them with some scrumptious pink cupcakes...laced with poison!

Poison or not, those look like some damn good cupcakes, am I right?

We get a pretty sad and disturbing sequence where Bette actually eats the cupcake and dies, while Dot screams in agony that she can't "hear" her conjoined twin anymore. Thankfully the scene was just Stanley's imagination and the girls reject the cupcakes in order to maintain their figure, but Sarah Paulson once again gave us an aching, convincing portrayal of these conjoined twins. Dot is so insistent on saving up money for the surgery that could separate her from her sister (a surgery that will also kill one of them), but after this scene, I'm interested to see whether she'll actually go through with it when the time comes. Their relationship is so complex and they depend on each other for everything--Dot wouldn't be a star if she were just her own person, and vice-versa--which is something I find so interesting. I can't wait to see how it all plays out, especially now that Elsa, grudgingly accepting that television is her only shot to stardom, pawns the twins off to Gloria and Dandy Mott at episode's end.

I'm not exactly sure how Elsa plans to pull this off, considering Bette and Dot should be able to make their own decisions and leave at any time. But this is AHS, and as any die-hard fan knows, sometimes plausibility is stretched with deliciously creepy results, and we as viewers just have to go along with it.

What do you think about all the developments in "Pink Cupcakes"? Were you surprised to learn that Dell had a male lover? Were you as psyched to get more Desiree as I was? How long do you think it'll take before everyone figures out the truth about Stanley and Esmerelda? And perhaps the most important question: What did you think of Matt Bomer? In case you forgot...

See you next week!

-- Dustin
@DustinVann

(All photos/GIFs courtesy of Tumblr!)

AHS: FREAK SHOW Review - "Edward Mordrake Part 2" (SPOILERS)

Well, that was...twisted.

"Twisted" is definitely the word that comes to mind when summing up this week's episode of FREAK SHOW. Not only was it the second half of the show's annual Halloween two-parter, the show made some bold moves that will undoubtedly shape how the rest of this season turns out.

Let's start with perhaps the biggest twist...By the way, this is the part where I warn you once again of SPOILERS, so if you haven't watched this week's episode, STOP READING AND LOOK AWAY NOW.

(Awkward pause.)

Okay, are all our non-watchers gone? Good. Alright, so, big twist: Twisty the Clown is dead.

That's right: Our scary-as-hell antagonist has met his demise 4 episodes into the season, dead at the hands of carny spirit Edward Mordrake (played with just the right amount of British pomp by Wes Bentley). As carny lore has it, Mordrake can't leave our world until he adds another "true freak" to his collection, and Twisty proved to be the right--and extremely unexpected--choice. Of course, we had to get Twisty's origin story before Mordrake impaled him with his walking stick, a heartbreaking sequence that showed us Twisty wasn't born an outcast but made one by society. People see clowns and automatically turn the other way, fearful of someone who just wants to make people happy. The bottom half of Twisty's mouth managed to slip past his scary mask, also, getting way more screen-time this week than Sarah Paulson's two heads put together. I'll leave that little side to Twisty a surprise and not share a picture, but yes, it's gross, and yes, Twisty's story will get you in your feels. Unless you're like my friend Mr. Squidward.

But seriously, Twisty's death is a huge turning point for FREAK SHOW, one I didn't expect so early in the game. Prior to the season's start, Twisty had been carded as the main antagonist, so I pictured him holding that title at least until Episode 11 or 12, probably like many of you did. I think it was a pretty ballsy move on the writers' parts, and I applaud them for taking the risk. However, I imagine a lot of fans freaking out and thinking that without a main antagonist, the show will stall creatively.

But of course there's another antagonist in Jupiter. We knew it the second he slipped on that grimy half-smile mask...

...And we definitely knew it after he slit Patti LaBelle's throat and laughed about it.

(RIP Dora. We'll miss your sassy one-liners.)

So Dandy is officially Twisty 2.0. I'd actually argue he's the truly twisted one of the two, considering his psychological problems seem to go into way deeper and more disturbing territory than Twisty's ever did. Like I said in last week's post, I find Dandy to be such a fascinating character, and Finn Wittrock plays him so well. I can't wait to see his character progress and reach his full psychotic potential.

Did I really just write that? See what this show does to me? Anyway...

This episode felt like a finale in some ways, and not just due to Twisty dying. The scene with the citizens of Jupiter coming to the freak show, thanking Jimmy (Evan Peters) for saving the children Twisty had kidnapped, ending his reign of terror (or so they think) and seeming to accept the freaks in all their shapes and sizes felt like something we'd get at the end of the season. It was in this regard that the Twisty arc serves as the closing of a chapter for FREAK SHOW and brings us right into the beginning of a new one: We have Dandy as the new Twisty, and there is also the conflict with Stanley and Esmerelda, the "freak collectors" we met last week who are infiltrating Elsa's show as a con talent agent and fortune teller, respectively. There is also much we have yet to learn about Del (Michael Chiklis) and Desiree (Angela Bassett), and I know eventually Jimmy's going to find out that Del is his actual father.

I guess you could say that I'm in favor of the move to kill off Twisty. His storyline--capturing the young children, forcing them to watch his demented shows--didn't fit in as well with the main storyline at the freak show, and it honestly could've started to feel drawn-out if some actions weren't made to drive that arc. The creepiness that John Caroll Lynch brought to the role of Twisty was great, and Twisty definitely takes the cake for creepiest AHS icon, but I'm glad they ended it sooner rather than later. His absence will give us more time at the freak show (I hope), and also opens the door for Dandy Mott to unleash all hell on Jupiter. We saw Dandy interact with a few of the freaks this week (Jimmy and Esmerelda), and since Dandy wanted so much to be a part of their group, I hope he pays those red-and-white tents a visit in the near future.

Elsewhere on FREAK SHOW, Elsa was put in her place by Edward Mordrake:

In addition to Twisty's backstory, we all got a look into Elsa's life before the freak show in a series of flashbacks to a German sex chamber that involved toilet seats with spikes and a chainsaw to the legs. The sequence, learning how Elsa lost her legs, was both disturbing and tragic, and of course Jessica Lange acted the hell out of it. She pretty much locked herself a fourth consecutive Emmy nomination for the show with this episode--well, let's face it, she locked that in the moment it was announced she'd be back for Season 4.

My only gripes with this episode are that we didn't get much with the freaks, apart from Elsa, Jimmy, and Twisty. Bette and Dot had a brief scene at the end of the episode, Ethel was nowhere to be found (though last week's episode focused heavily on her, so that may be why), and then Del and Desiree made blink-and-you'll-miss-them cameos near the end. But leave it to Desiree to chew what little scenery she has:

#WeNeedMoreDesiree

Overall, I thought "Edward Mordrake Part 2" was a strong episode that pushed the show's narrative in a new, radical direction. Next week's episode seems to mark the beginning of a new era for FREAK SHOW, and I'm excited to see what we as the audience will get because of it. What about YOU? Were you a fan of Twisty's early demise, or do you think it'll do more harm to the show than good? Do you think #WeNeedMoreDesiree? Let me know what you think about all these questions, plus whatever else AHS-related you feel I should know about, below in the comments or get at me on Twitter, @DustinVann. Thanks for reading, and come back next week for an all-new review!

--Dustin (@DustinVann)

*All photos/GIFs found on Tumblr