So it's been 3 months since my last entry, and now it's 2012. I'm not happy about this.
I meant to write this post yesterday, but sickness tethered me to either my bed or the couch all day. But still, here are my thoughts on 2011, two days after it has ended:
Looking back, 2011 doesn't seem like an eventful year for me. Nothing extraordinarily life-changing or tragic happened in my life. And yet, looking back once more, I can spot the little things that did.
1. I turned 18 back in September. My actual birthday fell on a school day, so I had my party a few days before. It's strange to think I'm considered an adult now, with a semester left of high school to go. I don't feel any different, either; the only aspect of my life that has changed since turning 18 is the fact that I can finally touch all of the machines at my job...not much of a stretch.
2. My older sister graduated and went away to college. I must admit, it was surreal to see my sister Elizabeth walk down our high school football field in her blue cap-and-gown, though accompanying her to her college dorm 3 months later and leaving her there tops that. Of course I knew I would see her again in a few weeks (her college is only a few hours away), just the fact that it would be weeks until I saw her again was an overwhelming thought to process. Apart from my mom, my sister has been the other dominant figure in my life; I've literally seen her every day. So it was strange not to interact with her for so long. Also, it was strange to be the oldest kid in the house, and to have my own room. I immediately noticed a quiet void in the house, though that went away a few days later with the hustle and bustle of school starting and all the distractions that entails.
3. I started my senior year of high school. Being a senior hasn't really kicked in yet; I've been told that really it's 2nd semester when one starts to "feel the power". However, it was a pretty decent 1st semester, and it was nice not to have so many classes to keep up with. The only time I've felt like a senior is when I'm in my post as Editor-in-Chief of our school newspaper. Ah. how I love newspaper; I can sum up the first semester as a successful challenge. It took me some time to realize that this paper was now on my shoulders, that I was the one who had to keep our eclectic staff together. It came with its obstacles, what with people not wanting to put their best effort into the product, as well as some staff tensions, but by the end of the semester we had put out 4 issues, one for each month we'd been in school. It was a goal I had set up before the year had even started, and despite some moments where I didn't believe we could pull it off, my staff pulled through. I've made some really great friends on staff this year as well; a few were friends of mine before while others went from being acquaintances to actualy friends. I'm looking forward to our second semester and maintaining our one-issue-per-month goal.
So while I may not look back on 2011 as a life-changing year, there are definitely moments that I'll recall wtih a smile, as well as moments where I massage my temples, remembering what a headache that experience was. I don't think I'll say the same for 2012, however, because whether I like it or not, this year is going to be big year of change for me.
Tomorrow is the beginning of the end for me. Second semester resumes, though I think of it as my last semester of high school. Not only of high school, but of public, government-enforced schooling. I have approximately 4 months of innocence left, where I can depend on my parents for guidance and spend time with friends I know I won't see a lot of (or at all) come August. And while part of me is itching to be done with high school and some of its unnecessary rules, I feel like a stronger part of me doesn't want it to end. I haven't reached the point where I'm ready to let go of this part of my life; maybe I will once May 13 rolls around, but right now I want to enjoy my last semester as much as I can. While high school has provided me with plenty of headaches, I've had plenty more good times to outweigh the bad.
After graduation, of course comes college. As of now I'm still undecided, though I've narrowed it down to two schools and I'm likely to decide soon. Both seem to have an equal amount of pros and cons, which doesn't make the decision any easier. I've endured worse, though, so I'll be able to make this decision soon. Still, the thought of going to college worries me. I have to start all over again, something I'm not extremely good at. But I have time to change that, and hopefully I will once August comes around.
2012 will be a year of loss and gain for me. It will be a sad, joyful, yet hopefully fulfilling year for me. I usually keep a list of resolutions, but right now I can only think of one. I got painfully behind on my writing this year. I made revisions to my past project that I'm still restlessly seeking representation for, and my current WIP (Work in Progress) took a backseat to that and my schoolwork. The semester break has allowed me to get back into it, though, and I'm loving all the ideas and strings of dialogue that are coming my way. This creative surge has led me to conclude that no matter what happens this year, I will NOT abandon my writing. 2011 truly made me realize not only the reasons that I wanted to be a writer, but that this is something I definitely want to do for the rest of my life. I'm determined now more than ever to get my work published, and belive wholeheartedly that the development I made in 2011 will get me to that goal...perhaps even in 2012. Whether or not that happens this year or a little further down the road, I will keep writing and developing my skill; I've invested so much time and love into it to give it up for good.
I also hope to blog more this year. It seems to me that the problem with blogging is that there isn't much going on in my life that seems blogable (pretty sure I made that word up). However, with my last semester of high school upon me and college to look forward to in the fall, I feel like I'll have more to say this year than ever before. With that in mind, Happy Belated New Year, and I hope that whatever you set your mind to in 2012 pans out well for you. I promise to keep up with this thing, with events big or small and anything else in between.
Dustin
